Sometimes I feel that ‘must be willing to make regular visits to seventh circle of Hell’ should be included in my job description.
Today, I was booked to interpret in a remote family hearing.
My morning routine on days of remote hearings is always the same; get up half an hour before start time, make two cups of coffee, put on a decent top, comb my hair, then sit back and wait for the court clerk to send me a link for the BT Meet Me or CVP. They would have received my contact details from my agency.
Today, for reasons unknown, I looked at my timesheet just before the job was meant to begin, to double check if I had the right date and time, even though I had already checked it last night.
In the Interpreter instructions box, an angry-looking not caught my eye: INTERPRETER TO PROVIDE THEIR TELEPHONE NUMBER AND EMAIL ADDRESS TO THE COURT.
In hindsight, it is obvious that I should have ignored it and wait to be contacted, as usual, but the menacing note made me go above and beyond my call of duty.
I checked that the originating court was Milton Keynes County Court and the hearing was to take place at the Luton Justice Centre.
I googled ‘Luton Justice Centre telephone number’. 0300 123 5577.
I dialled the number. After listening to a long recorded message, I selected one option, then another, then another, and was finally placed in the queue. ‘You are number – dramatic pause – 30 in the queue’. I had time, I thought, I’ll wait.
Twenty minutes later, I got through to a human, or so I thought. I explained what I was calling about, they listened and then asked me what the originating court was. I said Milton Keynes County Court. They said I needed to call the Milton Keynes County Court. Could they give me their number? No, I would need to google the number. I thanked them for their help, my sarcasm lost on them. I disconnected and googled Milton Keynes County Court telephone number. 01908 302 800.
I dialled the number. At the very beginning of a recorded message, the robotic voice informed me that their telephone number had changed and I would need to redial 0300 123 5577.
The first loop round my private circle of remote hearing Hell complete, I sat back and waited for the court to call me. After a couple of hours I realised nobody would.
